


still not quite the way it was

by woopsforgotadam



Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: Background Character Death, Comfort, F/M, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Death in Childbirth, Mother-Son Relationship, mention of needles
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-18
Updated: 2018-04-05
Packaged: 2018-09-09 09:39:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8885920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/woopsforgotadam/pseuds/woopsforgotadam
Summary: A story of grief, of coping, of facing the past and being prepared for whatever is to come. A story of family and hope. The story of how the Son family coped with the death of Goku after Cell.





	1. something don't feel right (it isn't right)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chi-Chi attempts to pick up the pieces in the way she knows best: move forward.

It was a dull ache.

That was how Chi-Chi described it, not to anyone else, but in the privacy of her mind. It was the only way to put it into words, to conceptualize what she felt further… it was something else.  Something that would take time, for sure. Acceptance had come in the form of bitterness, of a third night sitting in the kitchen, listening to the outside around her as much as her human ears could and the soft snoring of her son who was—thank Kami, or whoever—was still alive. Traumatized, depressed and guilty, but…alive.

Now, Chi-Chi dumped her cold tea, washed her hands and looked out the window, only to see her tired reflection. It has been two months, or well, six weeks since the Cell games had taken her husband, and since her husband said no to the wish of life. Six weeks since Piccolo and Gohan flew and told her, since she held her son as he cried and stayed as strong as she could because— _he apologized to her._

She was a young widow, but, she was an even younger widow before. This time, she has her son. This time she isn’t as alone and helpless. She isn’t pregnant this time either. That was one secret that only she and her father knew. The baby that never breathed life. Her daughter, may she rest in peace. A secret she never told Goku or Gohan; her own burden. Unlike that year, she was not so at a loss. She was better handled.

Chi-Chi, a woman who was normally verbal about her feelings, allowed herself to cry once and that was at the funeral they held (more of a formality, a way to symbolize her husband’s death) for her official deceased husband. Strange, the finality of it, considering that a lot of the people who attended had died themselves before on occasion, but…it was good. Now, she felt almost numbed to the pain. It was akin to the death of her mother. There, but never controlling it, not after becoming used to the idea, not after burying it deep and using that sadness, all the energy into something else. As a kid, it was too fighting, to cooking, to all the little hobbies that taught her survival. As an adult, it would be for Gohan. To be a mother.

Chi-Chi sighed and then went upstairs to her room. It was going to be a new day tomorrow, and a day for her and Gohan to finally talk.

 

“This is nice, Mom,” Gohan said, eating his last bites, “Want me to help with the dishes?”

Normally, she would tell him no and to go study, but, today she smiled and said, “Why don’t you dry as I wash?”

The change in routine was not missed by her son and she didn’t expect it too. He was a smart one, a prodigy even. She turned her back to him and missed his stunned looked, but she knew it was there. He got up, pushed his chair in and said, “Alright, Mom.”

He walked over, plate in hand and handed it to her as she took it and let it soak. She handed him an already cleaned up, but wet, plate and said, “I want ya to go up to the Lookout today.”

“But—my homework—!”

“I know, Gohan, but ya haven’t left the house in weeks, nor have ya had any social interaction outside of me. It…pains me to know ya don’t have much options to go socialize with people your age, but as it is, the only option that seems fitting are two Namekians who live in the sky. I don’t want ya to miss out on having fun. You will be expected home by lunchtime to eat, study and do chores though.”

She passed him more dishes to dry and he was silent, but she knew he was thinking. What about, she could only guess at.

“Do you…want alone time?”

Chi-Chi paused. She hadn’t expected that question at all. It was a good one, too, because, well, it would be easy for him to assume he was in her way. Ever since the Games, he has been having a significant guilt complex. Her heart broke for him, her only son, blaming himself for his own father’s sacrifice and reluctance to come back.

She shook her head. “Gohan, if I wanted alone time I would simply make up some excuse for ya to go into some other county for groceries. I’ll probably be doing laundry and reading while you’re gone.” She sighed and smiled a small, almost sad smile, at her hands as the washed one of the pans she used for eggs, “I just want ya to enjoy a peaceful life.”

It was silent for a few seconds and Chi-Chi finally looked to her son when she heard a sniffle. Shocked, she saw him trying very hard not to cry, looking down with as he dried a plate, “I’m tr-trying.”

Chi-Chi wiped her hands on her apron and then turned the water off. Gently, she took the rag from Gohan’s tight grip (he barely fought her on it, which she was thankful for) and held him to her. She kissed his black hair, more like her own than his father’s, but still had some wildness to it, and held onto him. She could feel her cheongsam getting a bit wet from where she held her son.

“I know ya are, and ya have been such a great young boy and I’m so proud of ya. I know I haven't always been the most supportive when it came to fighting...but that doesn’t change that simple fact. I will always love ya, Gohan. I want you to succeed, but I also want ya to have fun. To be comfortable and happy.”

Gohan pulled away and she let him, he quickly wiped his eyes and nodded. He managed a small smile for his mother, “I love ya too, Mom.”

Chi-Chi knew it was the beginning of a long battle. One little talk wouldn’t change how her son felt on the matter, but, it was a good step. She cradled his face before she kissed his forehead and tapped him lightly on the cheek, “Go wash up and have some fun. I’ll finish doin' the dishes.”

Gohan hesitated. “You sure?”

“Of course.”

What Chi-Chi thought as a first step would, as she realize years later, was the only step for a long time.

* * *

 

Gohan, always the dutiful son, had flown with her into the city for her yearly physical. She was always very conscious of her health, partially due to her mother’s early death and partially because of the pregnancy that Gohan didn’t know about. It was scheduled at a great time, too, because lately she had been feeling quite ill. Giving Gohan some spending money and a promise to stay out of any trouble (it was the city, after all) mother and son had separated ways.

“Son Chi-Chi, this way, please,” the nurse wore her flowery scrubs and had on a pleasant smile. Chi-Chi followed her and made small talk, all the while distracted by her visit. The stomach bug was starting to worry Gohan and her father. The latter was more understandable, since he was on edge ever since Goku’s…death. Her father had offered to take her to a clinic, which had thrown Chi-Chi off. Normally, her father didn’t interject unless he was truly worried.

“Please take a seat on the table, I will take some blood and the doctor will be in. You mentioned feelings of nausea and fatigue ?”

Used to the procedure, Chi-Chi was able on the table with her arm out by the time the question was posed by the nurse. “Yes, I actually puked once the last week, but have been feelin' some nausea. I’ve been tired a lot, too.” She didn’t flinch when the needle pricked her skin to take her blood, in fact, she remembers Goku’s aversion to such things. It was funny, to see one of the strongest men in the universe having a fear needles when she herself barely flinched at it.

As the nurse put a band aid on her finger, she asked, “Are you late for your menstrual cycle?”

The question shocked Chi-Chi, who didn’t even consider...

”I…I just think it’s a stomach bug.” The alternative seemed impossible.

The nurse smiled, “We’ll check just in case. The doctor will be back.”

And then she was left alone with her thoughts. A feeling of dread overcame her. The last time she was pregnant did not end well for her, and that was something only she and her father knew. Yet another secret shared between the Ox King and Ox Princess. This one, by the daughter’s tearful begging, the shame of not wanting to face her pain headlong. She lost her husband, her son and then…her daughter. Unnamed. Never even took a breath.

She would have loved that child, her little baby girl. Gohan would have been a great older brother and to see Goku with a baby girl…

The woman shook her head and wiped away the few tears that came to her eyes. It would not do well to dwell so much on the past. Especially if she is pregnant. What was she going to do?

An eternity later, the door opened and in came Doctor Sheila Cho, a sad smile on her face. “Nice to see you once again Son Chi-Chi. I offer my condolences to your family.”

That’s right, it would be on her medical file. Dead husband. “Thank you, Dr. Cho.”

“How is your son?”

“He’s copin'—we’re both copin'.”

A smile. “I’m happy to hear that for you. Now, let’s get started, shall we?”

Chi-Chi, normally quite a traditional woman, cursed formalities in this moment.

 

When she exited the doctor building, she saw Gohan waiting outside with a bag of what she assumed was some clothes. She smiled at her son as he came up to her, he seemed relaxed and she was happy to see him among all these people, finally looking like he was a normal eleven year old, instead of one with the world on his shoulders.

“How’d it go?” he asked when they were close again. “Is it a stomach bug?”

“I’ll be alright, but I am healthy.” Healthy enough for a new child, she wasn’t sold on that. However, she would tell him at home, now. “Ready to head home, Gohan?”

Her son looked a little abashed as he looked around, a look he normally wore when she would yell about his training. “Well, Mom…I was wonderin'. Can we go see a movie? I didn’t spend all the money you gave me and there’s this one that looks really cool and I—“

Chi-Chi smiled, “Let’s go, and then when we get home I’ll cook us a nice dinner.”

Gohan beamed at her and then lead her through the crowd, telling her all about the movie that caught his eye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The reference to an almost pregnancy the year Goku died after the Saiyans attacked was inspired by [This fic](https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11441043/1/In-a-Year) but I obviously am using it for different reason in this fic. 
> 
> Also, I think Gohan would open up to his mother only on occasion, like when pushed and here we see her pushing him a lot to try and feel better. Later, though, it does not always happen as such. I also plan to explore more into Chi Chi and the Ox King as well as the Son family dynamic.  
> Let me know what you think!


	2. ups, downs and inner strength

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chi-Chi reflects on her life and then rips off the theoretical bandage.

It was two days after her appointment that Chi-Chi encouraged Gohan to go to the Lookout, again. This time it was because he broke a few dishes with his strength, his excuse being lack of focus. As strong as a warrior she was, she knew her son needed help from someone more advanced than she and someone who was more attuned to his fighting style. Basically, go see Piccolo was her order.

Gohan did as she said, apologizing for the small damage, but she made him swear to go and get instruction and that he’d better be home by dinner.

After watching her son fly off, his silhouette a mere dot in the sky before he disappeared, she finally made her move.

The phone rang three times before she heard a familiar voice say, “This is Bulma!”

“Hey Bulma,” Chi-Chi breathed out, her nerves on edge, “Are ya busy?”

Chi-Chi heard shuffling of what she assumed to be lab materials and then, a chair scratching on the ground. And then: an answer. “Not anymore, Chi-Chi, what’s wrong? Is everything okay?”

It was instinct that brought Chi-Chi to calling up Bulma. The two were never that close, and her father would understand so much more. However, what she wanted to tell someone other than her father first. Someone who knew what pregnancy felt like. Her mother wasn’t an option and well…Bulma was a smart woman, and the father of her son was Vegeta. She knew more than anyone else what a half-Saiyan pregnancy felt like. “I…don’t know. I—I’m pregnant, Bulma.”

“Oh Chi-Chi,” she could hear the stunned sadness in Bulma’s voice. But Chi-Chi was a proud woman, she didn’t need or want anyone’s pity. Before she could fully regret about this phone call, the other woman spoke. “How long?”

“About five weeks in, I haven’t started showin' yet. I don’t think Gohan knows—I didn’t even know. I just thought it was a stomach bug, I…I just needed to tell someone. I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

Bulma hummed on the other line. “Well, you’re going to have to tell Gohan at some point. He probably knows something is amiss with your ki, Vegeta was the one to tell me I was pregnant.”

Chi-Chi grimaced, “Ugh, I completely forgot!” She did smile, though, “I bet Vegeta was the _best_ messenger.”

Bulma laughed, a nice tension break in their conversation. “He was very direct, I’ll tell you that.”

“I am concerned, though, I mean…we haven’t gotten used to Goku being gone and then now, I’m pregnant. I’m worried for Gohan, knowin' him, he’s gonna work himself up over this.”

“Well, _you know_ , you two could visit Capsule Corp anytime, to let go of the nerves. Gohan can have access to the labs, the pool, if he wants to spar, Vegeta wouldn’t say no to that. You and I can get massages and drink coffee—well, tea for you, coffee for me—it’ll be a reprieve from the stresses. Besides, with a baby on the way, my little Trunks will be happy to have a playmate soon.”

Chi-Chi, apprehensive to the idea at first, thought more about it. Goku gave her foot massages when she was pregnant with Gohan, though massages at Bulma’s wouldn’t be the same, it would still be relaxing. And the idea of her next baby (if she was lucky, but that was something Bulma didn’t need to know) having a playmate, a friend his or her age that Gohan didn’t have…was nice. “That’s...sounds good, I think.”

“Good. I know some great doctors in West City, and you can plan your appointments around that so you’d already be in town.”

“Oh—I don’t—“

“It’s not a problem, Chi-Chi. They’re pretty understanding if your child has a tail and can sit up a few hours after birth.”

“I—"

“I’ll let you know more details later Chi-Chi, I have to finish up this robot.”

“Bulma!—“

“Oh and Chi-Chi? Congratulations, I’ll be here for you every step of the way. I’ll call you tomorrow!”

And then the line was dead.

Chi-Chi blinked at her phone, shaking her head and putting it back on the table. Bulma was a pushy woman and it only showed how exhausted Chi Chi was herself that she didn’t erupt at the other one. Though, the pregnant woman smiled, it was a nice little plan. West City wasn’t that far on the Nimbus, and she could drive. Gohan would probably want to carry her over, but—well, she wasn’t a fan of that.

The young woman sipped her tea and then picked up her phone again, the next call was to her father.

This time, it rang only once before she heard her father’s booming voice on the other line, “Chi-Chi my dear! How are ya?”

Chi-Chi smiled, but her nails were drumming on the tabletop, “Well, Dad, I was wonderin' if ya'd like to come for dinner tonight?”

“I’ll come around,” her father said, and there was something else, she could feel it. “However, I’ll be doin' the cookin'. Ya didn’t look too well last time we saw each other.”

“Dad, you’re _my_ guest.”

“Oh Chi-Chi, I don’t mind. Consider it my honor.”

Well, she certainly didn’t fight Bulma too hard earlier. Today was a pushover day for Chi-Chi, it seemed. “Fine. Gohan should be home around five.”

“I’ll be around in three hours, then.”

“Okay, bye Dad. Love you.”

“Love you, too, sweetie.”

Once more, Chi-Chi hung up her phone and sipped her tea. It was relaxing, it always was. Ever since she was a child. Tea calmed her, it also helped that it was delicious. With a sigh, she sat back and reeled her thoughts in. This pregnancy would be different. _This time_ , she wasn’t living alone in the mountain, she had her son.

Her son, who would put the pressure of the world upon himself. Who _has_ done that before. Gohan, her bright child who had grown up so much, in ways she never wanted for her son. Though as she did try to control it, she couldn’t. Fate had a different idea in mind for her son.

She had to be very cautious about how she delivered the news to both her father and her son. Her father would be scared for her and Gohan…he might be a little psyched out. Did Goku ever have the talk with him?  Granted he was only eleven, but, you could never know. Chi-Chi groaned, that was for another day. She had to focus on her pregnancy. Granted, last time, the doctors probably weren’t ready for a half alien premature baby. She wasn’t exactly in the healthiest state of mind either. This time, it was different. Goku was dead before, but she was also a worried mother.

(She pushed aside the voice that said she was still a worried mother, but for different reasons)

Chi-Chi also now had someone to confide into: Bulma. Bulma, who offered her better resources than she had before. It would take swallowing some pride, but she could do it. It probably cost more money, but that wasn’t too much of an issue. Chi-Chi has always been good about money, and if anything, she could sell some valuable her and Goku had found in the early days of their marriage, when he insisted on going on adventures.

She smiled at the memories. Goku was normally a loner, but after a brief adjustment period, got used to having Chi-Chi around a lot. He even ended up liking being closer to her, in physical and intimate ways. One of his ways to spend time with her, other than sparring or just walks, was finding little adventures to go on. She could even see his wide grin now, his excitement was contagious and though she was always wary at first, she always ended up loving spending time with him and the joy of riding Nimbus with him was unrivaled by anything they could have done inside.

A light feeling engulfed her chest at the thought, it was bittersweet to remember those early days. It was a sad reminder of what she lost. Alone in her house, she allowed tears to run down her face. The weight of what she lost, of what she and Gohan had lost, settled onto her heart once more. Goku made his choices and now, Chi-Chi was left to deal with the consequences of his choices. Though she couldn’t stay mad—she’s made her own. When she married him all those years ago, she made her choice. And she is going to stick with it.

She stood from the kitchen table and put her cup on the counter. Sparing a look at the clock, Chi-Chi saw it wasn’t even afternoon yet. Her father said three hours, so he’d be here at around two. She debated her options of what to do before walking over to the couch and flipping on the television. It wasn’t often she relaxed quite like this and it was nice. Her eyes were heavy and slowly, she leaned back and fell asleep on the couch. The tears and sadness of only moments before, gone.

* * *

 

The aroma of spices woke her up from her nap and she could hear the familiar humming that was her dad in the kitchen. A soft smile found its way onto her lips at the familiarity; as a child, she could always hear her father in the kitchen because he hummed and even sun. Her mother used to sing and helped, but she wasn’t much of a cook. Sometimes before dinner, her mother would be singing with Chi-Chi instead of in the kitchen. The best days was when they all danced in the kitchen, ready for whatever her father had thought to cook. He truly was one of the best chefs out there.

She yawned as she sat up, if her father was here, though, it meant she overslept. Ah well, she decided to give herself a break—she _was_ pregnant after all. This day has been strange since the moment Gohan broke the plate that early afternoon.

Chi-Chi stood and made her way to the kitchen and smiled at her father, “Hey Dad.”

The Ox King turned and smiled widely at his daughter, “Chi-Chi! You were asleep and I didn’t want to bother you, so I let myself in.”

She sat at the kitchen table and wiped away the tiredness from her eyes, “I noticed. It’s fine, though. What time is it?”

“Four thirty, I was goin' to wake you soon, dinner is almost ready.” Her father explained and Chi-Chi groaned at the news. “You have been off lately. Are ya alright?”

Chi-Chi shrugged at the query and grabbed a nearby magazine from earlier. It was a trash magazine, but it was her little bad hobby. That and trashy romance novels. Whatever it was her father was cooking in her kitchen, it smelled delicious. She was happy he came, but was dreading what she was going to tell him. And Gohan, whenever he turned up, which should be soon. He was always punctual, if not early.

As she read through the magazine, Bulma’s last words came to her—she said _congratulations_. It _should_ be a celebration. It _should_ be happy but, there was so much more. How terrible of a mother could she be? Her daughter, who never got to breathe life, she was just a memory, one that brought sadness. A private ghost for mother and grandfather. A secret. There as a space in Chi-Chi’s heart that felt saddened every time she thought upon it, the guilt, the shame. Was this how Gohan felt about his father?

“Hey Ma, hey Grandpa!” the door opened and Chi-Chi turned, seeing her eldest come in the front door. Right as she thought about him, an amused smile played itself on her face as thought about it. Chi-Chi closed the magazine and set it down as Gohan bounced into the room an exuberant expression on his young face. He looked so much more relaxed now. “I trained with Piccolo today like ya said Mom, I should be better at controllin' my strength now. He even recommended some mediation techniques!”

“Mediation?” Chi-Chi cocked an eyebrow up, “I know some of my own, it helps with stress.”

Gohan sat at the table, “I didn’t know that, Mom.”

Chi-Chi shrugged, “I usually do it in the mornin' while you’re still sleepin'. Ya need more sleep than I do, being a growin' boy an' all.” She reached forward and playfully pinched his cheek. Her son’s laughter filled the kitchen and he gently swatted away his mother's hand.

Her father’s laughter joined in from where he was at the stove, “You’ve always been an early bird, Chi-Chi.”

The woman nodded, “I guess that’s true.”

Gohan sniffed the air and looked towards the Ox King. “What are ya makin' Grandpa?”

“Well, there is some of your mother’s favorite—Chimaki,” Chi-Chi smiled at that, “and of course, some stir fry, rice, an' seasoned chicken, sautéed beans, carrots an' asparagus. It’ll be ready soon.”

“Not that I’m not happy you’re here, but why are ya cookin'?”

“Well, your mother has been feeling under the weather lately an' she invited me over so I figured, why not cook a nice meal for my daughter and grandson?”

Gohan nodded, “I’m not complainin',” he looked over to his mother, a look of concern contorting his once happy features, “how are ya, Mom?”

“Yeah, don’t think I haven’t noticed you haven’t said a peep about your appointment.” Her father supplied, his back still turned away.

Suddenly, Chi-Chi felt under pressure. Her hands were on her lap and she had no tea to sip to distract herself. The magazine seemed to far away. Her son was looking at her, his eyes wide and so innocent. Not completely, she knew. There was still a tired look to them that had nothing to do with not being able to sleep well. She wondered if he saw the same look in her.

“Well, it’s not a stomach bug.” she began. Chi-Chi sighed, at a loss for words. _Might as well rip off the bandage,_ she thought. “I’m pregnant.”

The reaction was instant. Gohan stood, the chair fell on the ground from his sudden movement and his eyes were bugging out of his skull it seemed; he looked a mix between panic and guilty. Her father had moved so suddenly that a glass nearby had fallen to the ground and shattered into pieces; it was a gift from one of the villagers for her wedding.

“Pre-pregnant? With a baby?” Gohan was the first to speak, and her father had turned the stove off so he could clean the glass. Whatever he was thinking, Chi-Chi couldn’t see it on his face.

So, she looked to her son and nodded. “Yes, Gohan. I know you’ve studied human anatomy,” she pointed out, trying to help his thinking she added, “I’m six weeks along.”

“Th-that means…” he shook his head, “Dad didn’t know.”

“No, Goku didn’t know. _I_ thought it was a stomach bug, remember?”

“My baby sister—or brother—is goin' to grow up…without Dad…and it’s my fault.”

Chi-Chi gasped. Now she was standing as well and moved towards Gohan, who was staring at his hands. Gently, she put each of her hands on his shoulders and she stroked his shoulder blades with her thumbs soothingly. Her voice was soft when she spoke. “Gohan, that’s not true.”

“If I had—“

“Shh,” she interrupted immediately. “I regret that Goku won’t be there, but…this new baby will have a big brother who will love them. A mother. A grandfather an'…thanks to the same big brother and their father, a world of peace where they can grow up.”

Gohan sniffed, but when she saw his face, Chi-Chi saw no tears. His dark eyes were shining, but his lips weren’t trembling like the normally did when he cried. “I’m sorry, Mom.”

Chi-Chi finally pulled her son into an embrace. He went stiff at the touch, but quickly relaxed in her hold. She kissed his head, like she always did when she comforted him. As a baby, it was whenever he cried. As a toddler, it was when he had nightmares. Now, it was to soothe the guilt he put upon himself. “There is nothin' for ya to apologize about. I’m not alone and neither are you.”

Over her son’s shoulder, Chi-Chi looked at her father who was staring at her. Father and daughter shared a look before the Ox King nodded at her. “Well, the glass is all picked up,” he announced, “and dinner is all set. Why don’t we talk over a delicious meal, yeah?”

Chi-Chi separated from Gohan enough to send him a reassuring smile. “If I know ya as well as I think I do, I’d say you’re hungry.”

On cue, Gohan’s stomach rumbled, making all three in the room laugh once more. Gohan nodded, “Mother’s do know best.”

Chi-Chi winked, “An' don’t ya forget that anytime soon, mister!”

For now, their world didn’t seem to be shattering.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this in like six hours! Next chapter will either invole Gohan's pov, or Chi Chi and Ox King discussing her last pregnancy in the open, or even Chi Chi and Gohan at Caspule Corp. I am obviously a great planner. Goku had a big presence in this chapter, especially with Chi Chi's nostalgia. I imagine their relationship to be a build up of both getting used to the other, really. I do think the love was mutual.
> 
> Also, the inspiration for the meditation idea came from [this fic by usabuns/Gianna](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5003014/chapters/11494843)! I'd rec all her stories tbh.
> 
> You can send me prompts or message me [here](http://woopsforgotadam.tumblr.com) on my writing blog.


	3. an interlude for the first born son

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gohan learns something new about his mother and contemplates the changes in his life.

With the news of his mother’s pregnancy, the last few weeks have been different for Gohan. Well, everything past the Cell Games have been an adjustment period. He knew his mother was concerned for him, and she tried very hard to help him. As did Mr. Piccolo. But Gohan couldn’t shake it off, the guilt, the idea that he could have done something— _anything_. His mother and mentor have been nothing but supportive, but with his mom being pregnant, well, it was Gohan’s turn to take care of her. He was happy to do so, but she was stubborn.

His mother’s pregnancy was showing and his grandfather came around more. Gohan focused intently on his studies and kept up with his mother’s rigid school schedule and even added more onto his plate by borrowing books from East City library about pregnancy. The librarian had given him a weird look before he explained his mother was pregnant. _Then_ , he was called a sweet boy.

He didn’t need that lady to patronize him, though. Gohan couldn’t do much for his mother, but he was doing what she taught him, and something that he fond relaxing: research. He found himself enjoying academia more and more, much more than fighting at least. He still enjoyed that, but he realized long ago that he wasn’t a fighter like the rest of them. Not like his father, Mr. Piccolo especially not like Vegeta. The occasional spar with Mr. Piccolo was enough to satisfy him.

Though if he wanted the real scoop for his mother’s pregnancy, he would probably have to go to her or even Bulma. Though his mother was human, his dad is— _was_ not. There were bound to be differences from any normal human-human pregnancy. His grandfather might even know some things.

There was one thing bothering him about his mother and grandfather, they were hiding something. He could tell by the hushed conversations and his grandfather’s worrying looks. Whatever it was, he knew it had to something about the pregnancy. But surely, his mother wouldn’t be in trouble, right? Gohan was born without much complications, they didn’t figure out his dad was an alien until after the fact.

Still, the damage of a Saiyan pregnancy, the concern on his grandfather’s face—what if she died?

At the idea of his mother being in any danger he could feel his Ki rising and promptly shut his book so he could control his breathing.  Mr. Piccolo had pressed that he had to control his emotions, meditation was a first step. Gohan tended to overthink, which really didn’t help him with containing his emotions. If anything, it made it more difficult. He also found himself vulnerable around the subject of his mother—who for some reason, still was proud of him. She told him, repeatedly. She never yelled at him about the Cell Games. Not like he expected her too.

(A darker voice in him told him he wanted her distance, her hatred because it was easier to accept than her love at times.)

In fact, her reaction to all this surprised him the most; _normally_ his mother flew off the handle and then calmed down. She hasn’t had a strong emotional reaction since his dad’s funeral. Gohan figured that was where he got his strong emotional reactions from: his mother.

The young boy pushed away from his desk and wandered to his futon where he plopped down on the bed and rubbed at his eyes. Some days were better than others. Today was a not so good day. So far, at least.

Gohan focused around him, he could feel the Ki of his mother and the budding KI of his new sibling right with her. She was outside, probably reading one of her romance novels she thought he didn’t know about. He listened closely and heard a fox nearby hunting its prey. He cringed at the chomp and instead focused on his mother’s soft humming.

When he was little—before the Saiyans—his mother would read to him, he would sit in her lap, his head against her chest as she read the words, pointing them out a she spoke them out loud. She would exaggerate their meaning, and used her tone of voice to go with the story. His father would sometimes sit next to them and listen in, other times, he would do his pushups next to them and listen from there.

It was peaceful.

Gohan sat up and walked downstairs on his way to join his mother, as he passed the kitchen he grabbed an apple for a snack and found his mother outside sitting against a tree. He bit into his apple, they were his favorite ones, the sweet juicy ones. He ambled towards his mother, who looked up as he approached and smiled.

“Did ya finish your studies, Gohan?” she asked immediately.

Gohan laughed—she was always on point with that, at least. “Yeah, I started some of today’s last night.”

His mother smirked at him, “Oh? Is that considered cheatin'?”

Gohan sat next to her and shook his head, “Nah, I think it’s called _being ahead_ , Ma.”

His mother laughed and Gohan smiled. He peered at her growing stomach and asked, “Hey Mom, how different is a demi-Saiyan pregnancy from a human one?”

Chi-Chi folded the corner of the page she was on and closed her book. She seemed to be considering his question, her lips were pursed and she looked up in thought. “Hmmm, well, you had a tail.”

Gohan rolled his eyes, thankful his hair somewhat covered it so his mother didn’t see. “Other than _that_ , Ma.”

Once more, the woman laughed, however it soon faded, her laughter replaced with a more contemplative expression. “Well, ya were a premature for human standards, born at eight months. However, ya could sit up within twenty-four hours and had a full head of hair. Ya grew your teeth within a month. The labor pains were intense, but ’m sure that’s true for any pregnancy.” His mother laughed a little at the thought. Or perhaps, Gohan considered, the memories. “I showed a little later for you, but this isn’t my first pregnancy so I am showing a little earlier. I already can’t stand the smell of fish, so don’t expect much fish for the next few months.”

Gohan smiled at that part, but he listened quite intently to everything else. It seemed Saiyan developed faster than human babies, which, considering what he knew of the Saiyan race made sense. It wouldn’t make much sense for a race to send out babies to decimate other worlds if they didn’t develop fast enough to eventually carry out their mission.

“What brought up the question, anyway, Gohan?” his mother asked. Gohan shyly smiled and took another bite of his apple. He couldn’t find it in himself to lie to her, at all. It wasn’t even just the guilt he felt, but, he was always close to his mother. Probably more than most eleven-year-old boys, but his life was never meant to be normal—not as much as he wanted it to be at least.

“I was doing some research on pregnancy, but most of it is based on two humans, I was curious about the differences between the two kinds of pregnancy.” He confessed, his apple, he saw, was getting brown in some areas. So, he took another bite.

“My little scholar at work.” his mother said, the fondness not hidden in her voice. “I suppose this is what I get for pushin' studyin' onto ya, it was bound to come back to me.” Gohan laughed and his mother continued, with a hand resting softly on his knee. “I just want ya to succeed out there, y’know? Education is the path to true success. I never took hold of that and I don’t want you to miss out.”

Gohan nodded and bit the last of his apple. When alone, he’d eat the core, but his mother always scolded him when he did, so he placed it on the grass. “I know, Ma…but what did you mean? Ya never took hold?”

Chi-Chi blinked at Gohan a few times before a rare bashful expression came on her face. She looked away and towards the sky, her hand moving from Gohan’s knee to around his shoulders. He took the hint and sat closer to her, placing his head on her shoulder. It was a comfortable position, but Gohan wasn’t sure what his mother was going to say exactly. He felt more tensed than relaxed.

“When my mother died…” the young boy’s eyes widened, he never heard much about his grandmother. “My father didn’t push me to do anythin'. It was…a shock and a relief at the same time. My mother withered away before our eyes and there was nothin' we could do, really, but make her comfortable as we could. I was angry. At myself for not bein' able to do anythin'. At my father for his seeming lack of action. At the _world_ for takin' my Ma away. So instead of continuin' with my education, I demanded my father teach me martial arts more. Now, I knew quite a bit already, but I balanced it with everything else. After my mother’s passin'…I allowed myself to forgot about everything else. I just wanted to fight. So, I did.”

Gohan never knew this about his mother. He knew she was one of the strongest human fighters, if a bit out of training and that she met his father again at the Tournament. But he didn’t realize she used it as a coping mechanism for some time. If his information was correct, his grandmother died around the time his mother as ten. A year younger than he was.

It appeared, he had more in common with his mother than he imagined.

The laugh that came from his mother’s mouth didn’t sound happy it held ore bitterness than anything. “If ya think I’m angry nowadays, ya should’ve seen me _then_. All the martial artists in the village all have memories of a time or two when I broke their arms. I was very much an _Ox_ princess.”

Gohan snorted at that, “I’ll remember that next time ya threaten someone with your frying pan. _Could be worse._ ”

Chi-Chi shoved her son lightly. “Are ya bein' smart with me?”

Gohan blinked, his face a picture of innocence. “Isn’t that what ya want from me? To be smart?”

Chi-Chi laughed and shoved him again, her mouth twisted into a wry smile. “Where did ya get such a fresh mouth on you?”

“Probably Krillen.”

This time, his mother snorted.

* * *

 

Gohan’s feet landed on the outside of Capsule Corp gently. Bulma was outside to greet him, holding a wiggling young Trunks in her arms. “Heya Gohan! Look at you, you look so big!”

Gohan laughed, his hand rubbing the back of his head. His stomach was knotting in twists at the attention. “Hey Bulma, hey Trunks.” The younger demi-Saiyan blinked at Gohan and then waved happily.

“Where’s your mother?” asked Bulma, looking around. She didn’t have to look too far as the Nimbus soon came into sight.

Chi-Chi sat normally on the Nimbus, her hair going back into place as she descended. Gohan floated over to where the Nimbus was descended and took his mother’s arm as she attempted to get off the cloud. She looked ready to scold, but did not and allowed her son to help her off.

Gohan watched as Bulma approached the pair, a bright smile on her face. “You look great, Chi-Chi!”

His mother smiled at the compliment. “I better remember that when I blow up like a whale.”

Bulma laughed and came closer, Trunks looking at Chi-Chi with a curious look. “Have you had any cravings yet?”

At the mention of that Gohan’s face twisted into disgust at the memory of his mother’s ‘snack’ from last night. His mother and Bulma saw this and laughed together, sharing a look. The next thing he knew, Bulma was speaking to him, “Want to play with Trunks, Gohan? Your mother and I are going to b having long overdue Lady Time.”

Without a confirmation, the small boy was in his hands and the woman were off, arms linked and discussing matters that were foreign to him. The little demi-Saiyan wiggled in his arms and almost slipped out before Gohan held him more closely to his chest. Big blue eyes stared at him an Gohan blinked back. He never realized how much Trunks looked like Vegeta, despite having his mother’s family’s coloring.

Speaking of the Prince—Gohan was surprised Vegeta hadn’t immediately hounded him for a spar. Not one to be out of the center of attention for long, Trunks got Gohan’s attention back via pulling at his hair.

“Ah!” Gohan winced as Trunks giggled. Once his hair was safe, Gohan glared at the little one. “To think they say a baby’s giggle was supposed to be a peaceful sound.”

Trunks merely blew a raspberry at him, before it dissolved into more giggles.

Was this what it’s like to have a sibling?

Shrugging, Gohan walked with the little tyke more into the yard and Trunks seemed pleased by this, especially when Gohan set him down to explore more. The purple haired one loved walking, and Gohan figured out if you didn’t panic when he fell, he would get back up instantly and continue to run around, pouncing and tackling flowers and bugs alike.

Gohan was letting Trunks pounce at him when a shadow leered over them and the older boy craned his neck to look up, only to see the imposing figure of Vegeta. Trunks clapped at his father and called out to him. “Dada! I hunt Gohan!” Right then, the young boy jumped into Gohan’s lap.

For Gohan’s part, he didn’t really move away at all, just watched as Vegeta walked around him so he was in front of the pair now, watching with a frown.

 “Hey Vegeta,” Gohan greeted, always one to keep up with manners, “I figured you’d be training.”

“I sensed you when you came.” The Prince’s eyes narrowed. “Kakarot’s newest brat has a high energy level already.”

Gohan swallowed. He did notice that. “Trunks’ is pretty high for a what, one year old’s?”

Vegeta scoffed. “Of course it is.”

“I’m playing with Trunks right now, I don’t wanna spare with ya, Vegeta.”

At that, the Prince rolled his eyes. This surprised Gohan, he figured he’d have to put up more of a fight. Then, Vegeta spoke. “I know that much, you’re wasted potential. I came here for the boy. It’s _his_ training time.”

Trunks seemed to know the topic was about him because he rolled out of Gohan’s lap and onto the grass and peered up at his father. “My turn?”

“Wait—you’re trainin' a little kid?” Outraged, Gohan stood. “Bulma’s allowin' this?”

“It needs to be done.” Vegeta narrowed his eyes. “Or were you so focused on your mother you didn’t notice the bruises on the woman’s forearms? The boy needs to learn control.” At that, Vegeta picked up Trunks by the back of his shirt and took his son. All Gohan could do was stare.

If Trunks was already that strong—what about his newest sibling? His mother was twelve weeks along. That was three months.

With this new information, Gohan sat in the grass and decided to stare upward towards the sky. What was he going to do?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will probably begin with Bulma and Chi-Chi's Lady Time. I really love the development of their friendship and would love to explore it. That panel when Chi-Chi hit the woman at the Tournament who Bulma was arguing with? Gold. 
> 
> Also, I have 0 idea how to write Vegeta I'm so lost lmao!


	4. the mother of two children, both living and dead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A relaxing day at Capsule Corps ebbs away the stresses, but reality sinks in sooner or later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: discussion of a previous child death which could be triggering to some.

“This is the best thing I’ve done in a while.” Chi-Chi said as she leaned back into the seat, she opened one eye to get a quick glance at Bulma, “How’ve ya been, Bulma ?”

Bulma smiled, but it didn’t look as genuine as it did before. “Busy, really, but I can’t complain.” Her mouth twisted from a smile to something akin to annoyance. “Vegeta has been hounding me for smoking again.”

Surprised, Chi-Chi blinked. “You’re a smoker?”

Bulma nodded. “It helps with the stress, y’know? It’s just one a day and I smoke when Trunks is napping, usually. Though I did some little research—Saiyans and our son by proxy, don’t get sick easily. Their immune systems are much stronger than a human’s. Their cells regenerate faster, so the smoke wouldn’t have an ill effect on Trunks away. I told Vegeta that but he just looked annoyed.”

Now that Chi-Chi thought on it, Goku never really got sick and neither did Gohan. Chi-Chi always figured it was because (despite her husband’s misgivings about the entire ordeal) Gohan had vaccines. The little insight on Bulma’s relationship with Vegeta, though, it put a whole new perspective on the pair for Chi-Chi. She didn’t realize they were serious. “The _smell_ of it, is it worth it?”

Bulma snorted. “That was what Vegeta said about it.” The heiress turned her head to look at Chi-Chi. “Don’t worry. I won’t smoke around you, you’re pregnant after all.”

Chi-Chi cocked her head. She was relieved, but curious. “When did ya start smokin’?”

“Well, originally…I began after Yamcha cheated on me all those years ago. Since then, it’s been off and on. I couldn’t smoke on the spaceship to Namek, but after Namek I began the habit again. Up until I found out I was pregnant and I quit until Goku—“ Bulma looked away from her. “Until after the Cell Games.”

Chi-Chi nodded, so it has been off and on. The mention of her husband hurt at first, but then, _of course_ Bulma would be hurt. Those two knew each other for years. Bulma was normally someone who spoke what was on her mind always, of course she’d slip up. “Ya don’t have to restrain yourself, Bulma. You an' Goku were close, ’s fine. He was one of a kind.”

Bulma laughed. “You can say that again,” she leaned back, seemingly more relaxed than before, “you know, I would have never pegged him much of a father, let alone a husband.”

Chi-Chi smiled and sat back more on the comfortable chair, letting the summer sun soak her skin. With her eyes closed, she allowed herself to delve into memory lane as the masseuse hit a nice spot on her foot. “He was always genuine in everythin’ he did, even when he got me angry, it was hard to stay mad at him. He didn’t know it, but he challenged me in many ways, like with comfort zones. Don’t get me wrong, there was an adjustment period but,” she sighed happily, remembering those early years, “we fell into a happy rhythm soon enough.”

It escaped Chi-Chi’s notice, but Bulma was smiling at her, hearing this. She also missed the smirk on Bulma’s face. “Well, I’d say, Gohan was born _how_ long after you two were married?”

Chi-Chi’s eyes snapped open and she could feel her face flush. She turned to her friend with an alarmed look. “Bulma!” She gently swatted the other woman, who was cackling. “Gohan could hear ya!”

“ _Please_ ,” Bulma sounded smug, “with a brain like his? He knows what his parents were up to before the Cell Games.”

Chi-Chi’s cheeks were aflame and she absolutely knew it. “I—well, still!” She crossed her arms over her chest. “He doesn’t need to be thinkin’ o' that kinda stuff.”

Bulma tired to stop laughing, but at the glowering look from Chi-Chi, she let out another guffaw. The Ox Princess rolled her eyes and sighed, closing her eyes once more.

“I always wondered, was Goku a good kisser at all?”

Chi-Chi opened one eye to peer at her friend and then closed it again, smirking.

“What does that mean?”

“I don’t kiss an’ tell, Bulma.”

* * *

Later, the two were sipping milkshakes and sitting by the pool. Trunks’ training of the day was done and he was swimming in the pool, floaties and all, while Gohan entertained him in the pool. Chi-Chi was sitting by the shallow end, her feet in the water while Bulma sat next to her.

“Ya know, originally ya said coffee for you, tea for me.” Chi-Chi pointed out as she kicked some pool water.

“That’s for later,” Bulma revealed, “for _now_ , milkshakes. When I was pregnant with Trunks, I craved all things sweet.”

Chi-Chi nodded. She shipped her vanilla milkshake, it was quite good. Bunny had come out with them and congratulated Chi-Chi on her baby before she went to go take care of her dinosaurs. “Yeah, I’m feelin’ that. Last night I ate a delicious bowl of ice cream, marshmallows, peppermint candies, whipped cream and just a bit of pickle for tang.”

Bulma made a disgusted face. “You had me until the end.”

Chi-Chi merely rolled her eyes and splashed the other woman lightly, “C’mon, like ya never ate anythin’ disgustin’ while pregnant.”

Bulma waved her milkshake less hand in the air, “Yeah, yeah.” She kicked water in Chi-Chi’s direction and continued, “but I’ve _always_ disliked pickles.”

“Pickles are delicious, an’ I won’t hear anythin’ else about it.” Chi-Chi said matter of fact. “They’re the perfect mix between tangy an’ sweet. Ya won’t get anythin’ else like it.”

“I can’t look at green things and think to eat them after knowing Piccolo for so long.”

“Broccoli? Asparagus? Beans? Ya hate all those too, now?”

Bulma rolled her eyes. “Those are different. Pickles are too green, and sound like Piccolo’s name.”

Chi-Chi huffed. “Now you’re bein’ asinine. Ya can’t hate somethin’ for bein’ green and then not hate other things for the same reason!”

“Pickles are just gross, they’re taste and texture…and they’re green.”

The other woman rolled her eyes, a rare sight for someone so proper. “We might as well just agree to disagree on this one.”

Meanwhile, Gohan who could both hear and understand their conversation just shook his head. _Why is everyone so weird_?

As he was distracted, Trunks splashed him and laughed. As Gohan rubbed his eyes, he heard his mom and Bulma laughing as well.

 _At least they’re happy_ , he thought as he wiped chlorine from his eyes.

* * *

 

The reprieve from all the stress at Capsule Corp was a long time coming for Chi-Chi. That night, she sat with her tea at the kitchen table, munching on some cookies she bought while in the city. Before her, was Gohan’s latest essay she was correcting. She had the teacher guide next to it and was focused on it. He had almost no spelling mistakes so far and his grammar was perfect. His ideax, too, were so articulate and advanced! She was going to ask if he wanted to publish this to a local newspaper.

The hand previously on her cup of tea moved towards her growing abdomen, where she absently stroked. Distantly, she thought about her newest child. What would they write about? Think about? What would _their_ vision of the world be?

* * *

 

 “Where’s Gohan?” the Ox King’s voice, even when he tried to keep it on lower volumes, always carried through. Honestly, Chi-Chi wasn’t surprised her son didn’t ask her about what most of their private talk consisted of nowadays.

“He’s out getting’ groceries right now, I was gonna go, but he insisted on doin’ it himself.” Chi-Chi put her book down and looked up at her father. “Why?”

Her father nodded and walked more into her house, closing the door behind him gently. He sat down across from her with a familiar expression on his face and the pregnant woman braced herself. She knew her father very well, his expressions and moods and all. The expression he was wearing now was the same he wore when he told her that her Ma was sick, that there was no seeable cure for her Ma, that her Ma was gone now, she went peacefully in her sleep—the same expression he wore when she cried and told him about her pregnancy. When he told her, again, that the baby was gone, for good, Chi. When he watched her rip up the clothes she knitted for her baby girl.

Needless to say: it was not a happy one.

“Chi-Chi, you’ve been avoidin’ the topic long enough.” Her father began and although she was a grown woman now, pregnant with her second child and widowed, she still squired as if she was a little girl again being scolded for not picking up after herself. “Is this pregnancy similar to the last one? At all? Do you need to go on more appointments?”

“I didn’t know the last one was goin’ to end…the way it did.” She looked down at her hands, which rested on the tabled. “I was at an appointment last week an’ they said it was goin’ well, that me an’ the baby are healthy.”

“I know it’s hard for you, Chi-Chi.” her father said. He reached one hand across the table and his one hand covered both of hers. “I just don’t want ya to feel the same way ya did before. Don't forget the physical scars on ya body, too."

Damn hormones, Chi-Chi cursed as she felt the tears leave her eyes. She’s been doing so well, keeping herself composed. She refused to look up at her father. “I know, Dad…but so far it all seems alright. I just…sometimes I find myself hopin’ for this one’s future before I remember that their sister never got to have one—and I, Gohan doesn’t even know an’ _I don’t know_ , Dad.”

Her father pat her hands, “It’s only fair of ya to tell Gohan.”

Her sadness flipped to anger and she looked up, glaring at her father. “I can’t do that to him! He’ll only work himself up more—I never even told Goku.”

Her father blinked at her before he frowned. “Ya never told Goku?”

Chi-Chi shook her head wildly. “Of course not!”

“Chi-Chi, that was _his_ baby girl too.”

“Don’t ya think I know that? I was always goin’ too, but…I never found the right time. It always seemed wrong to burden him with it as well as everythin’ else.” She sighed, letting the anger roll off her in waves, grief and regret taking its place. There were the damned tears again. “He new somethin’ was wrong, he even asked me once but I lied. He let it go then, but I knew he'd asked again. Then Namek happened, then he was gone, an’ then the androids. Fate had different ideas.”

Her father nodded. “Ya at least owe it to your son, then. When is your next appointment?”

Chi-Chi nodded and then got one of her hands out of her father’s grasp to use her sleeve to wipe some of the tears. “Three days from now. I’m goin’ to West City this time an’ driving. After, Bulma an' I are gettin’ lunch. Gohan is goin’ to go do his schoolwork at Capsule Corp an’ I’m givin’ him some money to spend in the city.”

Her father nodded. “Ya should tell him before you get the sex of the new baby. He is a smart one, he probably knows we’re hidin’ somethin’.”

Chi-Chi nodded, a wry smile coming on her face at the thought. “Probably.” She rubbed her abdomen where her next child was still growing. She hoped, she prayed, this one would live to see the sunlight. For Chi-Chi to get to know, to name, even. Gohan would be the best big brother in the world, she knew this in her heart. After the grief of Goku’s passing, it would be nice, to have laughter in the house.

* * *

 

Only a week after talking to her father, did Chi-Chi call Gohan to the kitchen; the scene of many heart-to-hearts and confessions for the woman. She controlled her breathing and busied herself with preparing some green tea, not an unfamiliar sight.

Whether Gohan could read his mother so well, or knew something was amiss because of her Ki, Chi-Chi didn’t know. But when her son came into the kitchen and tentatively said, “Yeah, Ma?” she knew from his voice he was concerned, if not anxious.

She poured some tea into her mother’s tea cups with care and put one down for herself and one for Gohan, she sent him a smile; she hoped it was reassuring. “Sit down, sweetie, I gotta tell ya somethin’ very important.”

Gohan shot her a look, but did what she asked as she sat down in her own chair. He sipped his tea, watching her warily. “Is everythin’ alright?”

Chi-Chi closed her eyes and sighed. She never quite found the right time with telling Goku this, but, she knew her father was right. It was probably healthier to talk about it. Though when has she ever been one to practice healthy habits? She yelled first, asked questions later. It _used_ to be punch first, ask question later.

Perhaps she should give herself more credit. She has some development.

When Chi-Chi opened her eyes, she almost laughed at the fact her son had downed all his tea. “Gohan, remember when your father died? The first time?”

Gohan blinked. “Uhhh yeah, that was when Mr. Piccolo trained me before the Saiyans arrived.” He sat back in his chair. “That feels like forever ago.”

Chi-Chi nodded. “Well, when ya were with Piccolo…and your father was well—trainin’, I suppose. I was here.” She paused, looking past her son, now. “I was actually pregnant, then. Just like I am now.”

Gohan gasped. “Wait— _what_?”

“This is my third pregnancy, Gohan.” The words sounded almost robotic, but she did practice them over and over in her head, a script to follow. “I—I lasted until the end, it was when I went into labor that it went all wrong. I was with your grandfather, then, he didn’t want me to be alone just in case, y’know?” Chi-Chi sipped her own tea to real herself in. Gohan just watched. Even as she stood up and paced a bit. His dark eyes never left her form as he absorbed the news his mother was telling him.

“I was scared, worryin’ about ya, worryin’ for ya father. I was...I fell into a deep depression durin’ that time, but I soon managed to focus some energy on knittin’ new clothes for when ya returned. Even for your sibling—that baby was a girl.” Chi-Chi smiled. “I was so happy for a girl, but the happiness easily turned bitter when I realized that ya father was gone an' ya were with one of his enemies, doin’ Kami knows what.”

“But—Ma…what happened?” He didn't miss the past tense, and the fact he didn't currently have a little sibling.

“She was stillborn.” Chi-Chi answered, her eyes on the window overlooking the landscape outside their house. It was nighttime, so it wasn’t like she could see too much, her pregnant stomach in the reflection, the stars and the moon in the sky. Perhaps a happy little girl's face in the distant night sky, but that was just a dream. “I—I never told ya father, I couldn’t the right time, there was always somethin'. I wasn’t ever plannin' on tellin’ anyone, but ya grandfather felt like ya should know and convinced me to tell ya. I’m in a different place now than I was before. I’m sorry to burden ya with this.”

Finally, she steeled herself enough to turn to look at her son. She was surprised when instead, she got an armful of Gohan, his arms hugged around her waist tightly. She blinked several times, unused to being comforted by her son. 

“’m sorry ya were alone.” Gohan said. He burrowed himself into her more, but still careful of the growing one in her. “I’m not sayin’ that out of guilt…but because someone has to, and Dad isn’t here. But ya aren’t alone now, Ma. Ya have me. An' even Bulma! An' grandpa!”

Chi-Chi chuckled softly, her hands rubbing her son’s hair. She sighed and nodded. “I know that, Gohan. You’re the best company I could ask for.”

Her son pulled away just enough to look up at her. “Ya said I was gonna have a little sister?”

Chi-Chi nodded. “Yeah, I buried her with my mother out by Fry Pan Mountain. I thought—“ she paused, taking a deep breath before continuing, “I thought my ma would look after her. Like she did me when I was a baby.”

“What did ya name her?

Chi-Chi kissed the crown of his head before revealing the name. “Pan. Your baby sister’s name was Pan.” 

It did feel better, Chi-Chi found. If anything, the last few months brought her and her son more together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You're very welcome for this chapter. Now, I'm going to go scream at myself for bringing that full circle.


	5. one step back and two steps forward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chi-Chi and a visitor reflect on an Incident and then dinner happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmmmm. Hello! I've had half of this written for so long and I decided to finish this story. I hope to get the next chapter done up soon, but please, take this for now! There may be a few mistakes, but I will fix them!
> 
> Also a slight timeskip!

Five and a half months into her pregnancy with her second half Saiyan child found Chi-Chi in a State—the capital ‘s’ was needed for how she felt. The morning began with her waking up from her slumber in pain. She wasn’t as sick anymore with puking, but this morning it did happen, and she _just_ made it to the toilet. After flushing and brushing her teeth, Chi-Chi steeled herself for a difficult day. She knew that her Ki levels must be high because Gohan woke up shortly after her and began fussing.

“Are ya sure you’re okay ma?” Gohan asked in the afternoon, his eyebrows were knitted together as he fidgeted in the doorway of the house.

Chi-Chi nodded. “Ya have ta hone your power, Gohan. We can’t let ya lose your control again.”

Gohan looked guilty and Chi-chi sighed, moving slowly (more like waddling) towards her eldest child and cupping his cheeks in her hands. He looked embarrassed, but he leaned into the touch. “Ya don’t have ta feel bad. I can’t understand exactly what ya goin’ through and I wish I could, Gohan. Ya know I love ya and _nothin’_ will change that. This…power of yours is just another part of ya.”

“I…I know ma, but…I just wish I didn’t have this power sometimes.” His words were barley audible over the wind.

Chi-Chi’s heart broke and she knew she’d be crying once Gohan flew to Bulma’s to train with Vegeta. She kissed his forehead and rubbed his cheeks. There was no words that could comfort him and they were alike enough in the way they both didn’t like empty comforts.

“Ya should still get goin’ Gohan, I’ll be just fine here. Remember, ya grandfather is comin’ over to help with dinner so don’t eat to much at Bulma’s. Also tell her I said hi.”

Gohan nodded and leaned up to kiss his mother on the cheek. “See ya later, ma.” And he flew off towards West City.

Chi-Chi watched him until he was no longer seen in the sky before she walked into the house, closed the door and started to cry.

An hour later she was sitting at her kitchen table, eyes rimmed red and cheeks blotched, sipping on some green tea and chowing down on some cheesecake. It was probably the tamest thing she ahs eaten thus far when she heard a horn outside her house. She was not expecting any visitors save her father, but he wasn’t due to be around for another six hours. She quickly put down her fork and stood up from her chair while leaning on the table. For normal human-human births she would not be this big at just five and a half months but considering the growing fetus inside her was in fact half alien—her pregnancy was not the standard one and she was currently the size of a beached whale. According to herself. Everyone else just says she is “noticeably pregnant”. Chi-Chi yanked the broom as she approached the door, wary all over her posture.

She yanked the door open before her visitor could knock and she was happily surprised to see it was none other than Krillin. Not a threat at all!

“Krillin?” Chi-Chi set the broom inside the house and looked down at the bald monk. “I’m surprised ta see ya.”

Kirllin laughed awkwardly and rubbed the back of his head. “Well, I thought I should stop by to see how you and Gohan were doing. You know, since the uh Incident.”

“Gohan isn’t home right now,” Chi-Chi explained, opening the door wider, “but ya can drink some tea and have some cake with me if ya want.”

Krillin followed her inside and closed to door while she walked slowly back towards her kitchen. As she walked, she talked. “Next time ya should call so I can make sure Gohan is here, ‘m sure he’d love ta see ya. I know he’s been feelin’…embarrassed since the Incident. He’s trainin’ with Vegeta right now.”

“Vegeta? I don’t envy him.” Krillin said from the doorway to the kitchen. It did just occur to Chi-Chi that this has the potential to be awkward, but she hoped it wouldn’t be. She could have been…kinder perhaps, to Goku’s friends, but she always associated them with Goku being gone for a long time. Now, he was dead, and they were a connection to him. Chi-Chi cut two slices of cheesecake and put one on a new plate for Krillin while she poured some more tea into a new cup. Krillin walked over and silently took his plate, kindly did not comment on the additional slice Chi-Chi put on her plate, which had half a slice and he took his tea.

They were sitting across from each other when Krillin thanked her and took a bite. The pure look of enjoyment that was on his face as he tasted it amused Chi-Chi. “Did you make this Chi-Chi?”

The woman laughed. “Oh no, Gohan ‘nd my father did. Well, Gohan helped my father, but he’s learnin’.”

“they really know their way—this is delicious!”

“”m happy ta hear ya like it. Now I can say I didn’t eat all of it, just most.”

“be fair to yourself, you’re eating for two and one of them is part Saiyan.”

Chi-Chi nodded, rubbing her bump absently. “No need ta remind me. Look at me! I have my own gravitational force!”

Krillin laughed with a ludicrous look on his face, “Now I can see where Gohan gets it from.”

“What?”

“His sense of humor—or lack of.”

Chi-Chi pouted. “’m plenty funny. Ya just don’t understand it.”

“That’s a way to phrase it, sure.”

Chi-Chi glared and Krillin just took a sip of tea instead of continuing. She was going to call him out on it, but then he did ask her a question. A serious one.

“How has Gohan been since the Incident?”

“He’s trainin’ with Vegeta and I want him ta. So that should say a lot.” Chi-Chi frowned. “I suppose I didn’t realize how much my pregnancy affected him or how it would affect his powers at all. That’s my mistake.”

“Aw, Chi-Chi, don’t beat yourself up over it. If Piccolo was even surprised, then I think it’s safe to say that the entire ordeal came out of left field.”

Chi-Chi nodded. Her memories of the day were so fresh, too.

_3 and a half months Into Chi-Chi’s pregnancy_

It was supposed to be a normal day, and so far, it was. There was a lot of emotional moments the past few months, which could be expected after a death in the family and preparing to bring a new member into the home. It was a lot and so Chi-Chi decided that the pair should have a picnic by the river—and instructed Gohan to invite his friends well.

That ended up being just Piccolo—but that was just as fine. It meant she didn’t have a need to make any extra food. Chi-Chi carried the blanket while Gohan carried the baskets of food as they walked peacefully to the River—Piccolo met them there and nodded once they arrived.

Everything was set up and Gohan was trying to fish as Chi-Chi and Piccolo sat on the blanket together, both in a peaceful silence only interrupted by Chi-Chi’s amused laughter at Gohan’s antics. Chi-Chi took a bite into her cookie when it happened—the first kick of her pregnancy.

And it hurt.

Chi-Chi gasped when it happened in pain and dropped her cookie into her lap. The area got tense when she started rubbing her abdomen and hissing—it was alike her other two pregnancies when it happened, but this time it hurt more. Panic ensured her for a moment as she thought the reason why it might hurt was because of the way her last pregnancy ended. The fear gripped at her, but logically, she knew it was because it was a _Saiyan_ baby. There was a comforting hand on her back and a voice, distantly, asked her if she was alright. But she couldn’t form words right now. There was nothing quite like internal pain, really.

“Gohan, calm down!” Piccolo commanded. Chi-Chi looked over at the Namekian, whose hand moved from her back as he stood up, his white cape flapping in front of her.

She saw where Gohan was, in the water, but he was in his Saiyan form. No. Even she could feel this, even if she was not quite the Ki reader everyone else was. It was instinct. She was in the Saiyan form above a normal Super Saiyan. The one that he killed Cell in.  Chi-Chi blinked as she saw her son, who seemed to be struggling and breathing erratically. She felt something drip on her lap and looked down in surprise—it was blood.

Chi-Chi felt panic again but willed herself to calm down as she realized her nose was bleeding now. Piccolo moved calmly in front of her, blocking her view of Gohan, whose power flowed around them. The grown, she realized broke open in some parts.

“Gohan—sweetie, ‘m fine!” she tried to call out, but she couldn’t get through to him. Gohan seemed to be in a more panicked mind state as he moved towards them.

“Let me see her!” he demanded. He was yelling at Piccolo. Surely, he wasn’t going to attack him?

And he did. Piccolo was smart to move away from the pregnant woman, but he couldn’t do much but defend from Gohan’s blows—it seemed he had some pent-up energy and he threw logic out of the window. Chi-Chi was horrified, but soon enough there was someone else next to her, grabbing her gently by the shoulders and helping her up—Bulma and Krillin.

They were leading her to Bulma’s ship, Chi-Chi distantly realized but she was focused less on them and more on Gohan, who was now fending off Piccolo, Vegeta and Tien. What did she _unleash_?

Later, Chi-Chi sat quietly in a doctor’s office room with Bulma, who was holding her hand. Her and Krillin did very well to calm Chi-Chi down on the way to the doctor’s office in West City. Krillin helped take care of her bleeding nose and cracked a few jokes which surprisingly made Chi-Chi laugh. Though it was more hysteric laughter than anything else. Krillin was given his leave by Bulma, who instructed him to go to the Lookout, update the Ox King, and get an update on Gohan if possible while she stayed dutifully with Chi-Chi.

“I got a nose bleed or two when I was pregnant with Trunks—and I remember the first kick.” The blue haired woman said in an effort to calm Chi-Chi’s nerves.

Chi-Chi tried to smile. She really did. But instead she ended up looking like she was going to cry. “What if it’s not normal? What if…somethin’ happened.”

Bulma squeezed Chi-Chi’s hand. “I will be here with you.”

Chi-Chi sighed, her chest shaking slightly with the sigh. “Thank you.”

“And…I will help you figure out what to do about Gohan.”

“Oh Gohan!” Chi-Chi shook her head. “He must’ve been so scared!”

“Shhh,” hushed Bulma, moving her hand from Chi-Chi’s to wrap her arm around the other woman’s shoulder, “It’s alright, Chi. Vegeta seemed a bit to excited to fight with Gohan, so I’m sure they’re all fine.”

“Vegeta…” Chi-Chi never truly cared for the man Bulma was…in something with. She wasn’t surprised he wasn’t excited about Bulma’s pregnancy and a lot of her opinion of him was in fact based on that fact. It probably wasn’t fair to the Saiyan Prince, but she really didn’t like his attitude either. Goku liked him, though. Granted—he liked almost anyone. The Saiyan Prince was one of the most powerful people around, too…just behind Gohan…”Vegeta!”

“What about him?” asked Bulma, who blinked in surprise at Chi-Chi’s outburst.

“Gohan should train with Vegeta—just how ta control his powers so this won’t happen! I’ve been havin’ him to ta the Lookout to get that energy flowin’, but that doesn’t work. He needs more than meditation—they can go into that dome thingy Vegeta disappears ta!”

Bulma considered it. “I will have to make some upgrades to the Training Capsule…but that could actually work. I’m sure Vegeta would be happy to train him…or well, he will be after I talk to him.”

Chi-Chi leaned onto her friend. “Good. I’ll talk ta Gohan about it.”

The door to the office opened and Dr. Weiss walked in. She was an older doctor but had a very warm smile and giant pink glasses. “Mrs. Son, thank you for being patient. The blood results came in—the baby is healthy, if a little strong! It seems your body is not yet used to the movements of the fetus and so, this time, the pain was very intense. Your nose bleed was just a symptom of pregnancy, it is not a bad one either. However, I will be setting up more appointments to be watchful. You and the baby are healthy, even if mommy is a little bit in pain.”

Chi-Chi breathed a sigh of relief and Bulma brightened up a lot. “Thanks Doc!” Bulma slid off of the patient mat and held her hand out for Chi-Chi, “Are we free to go?”

“Of course. Here is the paperwork in full as well as the dates for the next few appointments.”

“Thank you,” Chi-Chi took the extended folder and then Bulma’s hand. The other woman lead Chi-Chi out of the office and back towards her ship. Once they were alone again, Chi-Chi leaned back in her seat, rubbing her abdomen softly as she sighed deeply. “Thank you for everythin’ Bulma. I don’t know what I’d do without ya.”

Bulma laughed as she started to fly them away from the Doctor’s and into the sky. “I thought that many times during my pregnancy with Trunks!”

Chi-Chi smiled. “Ya had no idea what was comin’ ta ya. I know I didn’t.”

“And I’m here to remind you.” Bulma promised. “Let’s go to the Lookout now, though. I’m sure Gohan is anxious to see you.”

Anxious was probably not the word. Her son was embarrassed but _very_ determined to see her. Chi-Chi saw that his clothes were all ripped, but he must have had a sensu bean because there were no marks on him. He was looking down at his feet as he stood in the back of the group, everyone surrounded him. Vegeta, Piccolo, Tien, Chiaotzu Krillin, Yamcha, Dende, Mr. Popo and even the Turtle Isle gang. He stood once her and Bulma landed and when she walked off the ship, her son flew to her and didn’t see to wait before he bombarded her with questions.

“Ma—are you okay?”

“’m fine, it’s just comes with the terms of the pregnancy.”

“But—the blood!”

“Just a nosebleed, it’s normal.”

“You were so panicked!”

“I wasn’t expectin’ it, Gohan.” Chi-Chi reached for her son and he landed before her, her hand on his cheek. “I’m sorry I scared ya.”

“N-No Ma! I’m supposed to be apologizin’!”

Chi-Chi smiled warmly. “Ya have nothin’ ta be sorry for.”

“He did give me a black eye.” Vegeta’s voice rang out, breaking up the little family reunion. “His power was felt everywhere by everyone.”

“Meditation doesn’t seem to be getting him very far for reigning in his powers.” Piccolo added. He sighed. “It seems we need to take more measures.”

“I’m right here guys! And it was just one thing.”

“Gohan.” Chi-Chi spoke and everyone else was silent. “They have a point. I was talkin’ ta Bulma and I thought it would be a good idea for ya if ya trained with Vegeta to harness ya power.”

“What?!” the voices belonged to Gohan and Vegeta.

Bulma cut in. “I just have to make a few more upgrades to the Training Capsule you already use. You help Trunks, Vegeta, Gohan should be a piece of cake.”

“I’m not a damn teacher!”

Bulma raised an eyebrow. “If you’re not up the challenge of training and fighting with someone who can be a higher level of Super Saiyan…. then—”

“Shut up, woman!” Vegeta interrupted Bulma’s clear (to Chi-Chi at least) manipulation. He stomped over to where Chi-Chi and Gohan were standing, the former clearly amused and the latter still horrified by the turn of events. “You will be at Capsule Corp at dawn in the three days it will take for these upgrades to happen. If you’re late, you wait until the next day.”

With that, Vegeta flew off. Bulma laughed loudly and Chi-Chi shook her head, but was clearly smiling.

“Ma! You really tellin’ me to train—with Vegeta? Ya hate him!”

“I don’t hate ‘em, Gohan. I just don’t like most of his choices.” Chi-Chi corrected.

“But—”

“Gohan, I think this is the best option for now.” Chi-Chi voice held no room for complain. She then looked to the others. “Now—how am I getting’ home? I’m sure my father is worried sick.”

_Present Day_

“Vegeta at least lets him eat now.” Chi-Chi said. “I figure he was sick of sharin’ his food.”

Krillin laughed. “Bulma is a terrifying force if she can manipulate a Super Saiyan like him.”

Chi-Chi nodded and took another bite of her cheesecake. “They give each other a run for their money when it comes ta who drives the other crazier. At least Bulma has me ta vent too, poor Gohan I think is takin’ up most of Vegeta’s stress. But he’s a good boy and still does his studies.”

Krillin snorted. “I remember on the way to Namek how much homework he did.”

“He knows what’s best for him.”

“Is that homework or following your orders?”

Chi-Chi glared. “Hush.”

 

When Gohan came home for dinner that night, Krillin was still gone. Chi-Chi was excited to hear that the man had a date with Android 18 and was still gushing about it during dinner.

“Isn’t it amazin’? I’m callin’ it _true love_ right now!” Chi-Chi spoke around some noodles.

“Ma,” Gohan’s face was red, “I think you’re reading too much into this.”

The Ox King laughed. He was long used to his daughter’s romantic notions. Even as a young girl any romance was on Chi-Chi’s radar and she was often a matchmaker around the villages they lived in. She was well sought out after, too, when she was older but declined them all: she still had eyes for Goku.

“Ya too young ta understand, but this is a woman’s intuition, Gohan. I already know the next bit match up in the Z fighters, other than Krillin and 18.”

“Who?” Gohan seemed really curious.

“Yamcha and Tien.”

Gohan choked in surprise. “ _What_?”

“I’m serious, Gohan, just ya wait. I saw how close they were last time I saw them at the Lookout and Bulma’s told me that Yamcha has been trainin’ more with Tien. I’m sure it’s more than just ‘training’.”

“Ew!”

“Oh, get ya mind outta the bucket, Gohan. I’m thinkin’ it’s Yamcha’s way of tryin’ ta get closer to Tien. Probably also look at his arms, they _are_ amazin’.”

“Ma! I think you spent too much time with Krillin!”

Chi-Chi laughed. “Maybe so, but I’m right. Just ya wait, Gohan! Maybe it’ll take years—men are like that.”

“What’s that mean?” Gohan wasn’t offended, just curious.

“Most men don’t communicate. I had to dig away at ya father, it’s because of the way a lot of them are socialized. It’s fine, though, I don’t raise ya ta be like that.”

“Uh…thanks?”

“Ya welcome!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't know how to end this to be honest?? I hope you enjoy this!  
> Please if you are having pains, esp if you're pregnancy, see a doctor! Though they not be as intense as Chi-Chi's, still do so because it could be an issue! Chi-Chi just has a half super strong alien baby. There are some hints about the later pregnancy too ;)  
> Also, I do ship Yamcha and Tien alright?

**Author's Note:**

> You know that saying? Write the story you want to read? This is it, for me. 
> 
> Also, here is my [Tumblr](http://woopsforgotadam.tumblr.com)


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